Marriage and family life

In 1902 at age 17, Roosevelt returned to the United States, ending her formal education. She waslater given a debutante party. As a member of The New York Junior League, she volunteered as asocial worker in the East Side slums of New York. Roosevelt was among the League's earliestmembers, having been introduced to the organization by her friend, and organization founder,Mary Harriman.

That same year Roosevelt met her father's fifth cousin, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and wasoverwhelmed when the 20-year-old dashing Harvard University student demonstrated affectionfor her. Following a White House reception and dinner with her uncle, President TheodoreRoosevelt, on New Year's Day, 1903, Franklin's courtship of Eleanor began. She later broughtFranklin along on her rounds of the squalid tenements, a walking tour that profoundly moved thetheretofore sheltered young man.

In November 1904, they became engaged, although the engagement was not announced untilDecember 1, 1904, at the insistence of Franklin's mother, Sara Delano Roosevelt. She opposed theunion. "I know what pain I must have caused you," Franklin wrote his mother of his decision. But,he added, "I know my own mind, and known it for a long time, and know that I could never thinkotherwise." Sara took her son on a cruise in 1904, hoping that a separation would squelch theromance, but Franklin returned to Eleanor with renewed ardor. The wedding date was fixed toaccommodate President Roosevelt, who agreed to give the bride away. Her uncle's presencefocused national attention on the wedding.

Roosevelt, aged 20, married Franklin Roosevelt, aged 23, her fifth-cousin once removed, on March17, 1905 (St. Patrick's Day), at the adjoining townhouses of Mrs. Elizabeth Livingston Ludlow andher daughter, Susan "Cousin Susie" Parish in New York City. The Reverend Dr. Endicott Peabody,the groom's headmaster at Groton School, performed the services. The couple spent a preliminaryhoneymoon of one week at Hyde Park, then set up housekeeping in an apartment in New York.That summer they went on their formal honeymoon, a three-month tour of Europe.

Returning to the U.S., the newlyweds settled in New York City, in a house provided by Franklin'smother, as well as at the family's estate overlooking the Hudson River in Hyde Park, New York.

Roosevelt deferred to her mother-in-law in virtually all household matters. She did not gain ameasure of independence until her husband was elected to the state senate and the couple movedto Albany, New York. Eleanor Roosevelt was also a member of the Order of the Eastern Star.

The Roosevelts had six children, five of whom survived infancy:

Anna Eleanor, Jr. (1906–1975) - journalist, public relations official.

James (1907–1991) - businessman, congressman, author.

Franklin Delano, Jr. (b./d. 1909)

Elliott (1910–1990) - businessman, mayor, author.

Franklin Delano Jr. (1914–1988) - businessman, congressman, farmer.

John Aspinwall (1916–1981) - merchant, stockbroker.

The family began spending summers at Campobello Island, New Brunswick, on the Maine–Canadaborder, where Franklin was stricken with a paralytic illness in August 1921, which resulted inpermanent paralysis of his legs. Although the disease was widely believed during his lifetime to bepoliomyelitis, newer research indicates Roosevelt's illness was more likely Guillain-Barré Syndrome,which was scarcely known at the time. Franklin's attending physician, Dr. William Keen, believed itwas polio and commended Eleanor's devotion to the stricken Franklin during that time of travail, "You have been a rare wife and have borne your heavy burden most bravely", proclaiming her"one of my heroines". A play and movie depicting that time, Sunrise at Campobello, wereproduced almost 40 years later.

It was Eleanor who prodded Franklin to return to active life. To compensate for his lack of mobility,she overcame her shyness to make public appearances on his behalf and thereafter served him asa listening post and barometer of popular sentiment.

Tensions with "Oyster Bay Roosevelts"

Although Roosevelt was always in the good graces of her uncle, Theodore Roosevelt, the paterfamilias of the Oyster Bay Roosevelts, as the Republican branch of the family was known, she oftenfound herself at odds with his eldest daughter, Alice Roosevelt. Theodore felt Eleanor's conduct tobe far more responsible, socially acceptable and cooperative; in short, more "Rooseveltian" thanthat of the beautiful, highly photogenic, but rebellious and self-absorbed Alice, to whom he wouldask, "Why can't you be more like 'cousin Eleanor'?" These early experiences laid the foundation forlife-long strain between the two high-profile cousins. Though the youthful Alice's comradelyrelationship with Franklin during the World War I years in Washington is still the object of curiosityamong Rooseveltian scholars, both Eleanor's and his relationship with Alice and other Oyster BayRoosevelts would be aggravated by the widening political gulf between the Hyde Park and OysterBay families, as Franklin D. Roosevelt's political career began to take off. In 1924, Eleanorcampaigned against her cousin, New York gubernatorial candidate Theodore Roosevelt, Jr., andcontributed to his loss and further strained relations between the two Roosevelt branches.

Alice often hosted dinner parties at her Washington, D. C. home, where she promoted the affairbetween Franklin and Lucy Mercer. Alice would invite both Franklin and Lucy to dine—especiallywhen Eleanor was out of town. Alice must have savored this underhanded revenge. "He deserveda good time," Alice once said of FDR; after all, "he was married to Eleanor."

That said, Alice was not particularly enamored with FDR either; she described Franklin as "two-thirds mush and one-third Eleanor". When Franklin was inaugurated president in 1933, Alice wasinvited to attend along with her brothers, Kermit and Archie. When Eleanor Roosevelt died in 1962,her cousin Ethel Derby wrote that she would not attend Mrs. Roosevelt's funeral because she didnot love her.

First Lady of the United States (1933 – 1945)

Following the Presidential inauguration of Franklin D. Roosevelt ("FDR") on March 4, 1933, Eleanorbecame First Lady of the United States. Having seen the strictly circumscribed role and traditionalprotocol of her aunt, Edith Roosevelt, during the presidency of Theodore Roosevelt (1901–1909),Roosevelt set out on a different course. With her husband's strong support, despite criticism ofthem both, she continued with the active business and speaking agenda she had begun beforebecoming First Lady, in an era when few women had careers. She was the first to hold weeklypress conferences and started writing a widely syndicated newspaper column, "My Day" at theurging of her literary agent, George T. Bye[citation needed].

Roosevelt maintained a heavy travel schedule over her twelve years in the White House,frequently making personal appearances at labor meetings to assure Depression-era workers thatthe White House was mindful of their plight. In one widely-circulated cartoon of the time from TheNew Yorker magazine (June 3, 1933) lampooning the peripatetic First Lady, an astonished coalminer, peering down a dark tunnel, says to a co-worker "For gosh sakes, here comes Mrs.Roosevelt!"

Eleanor also became an important connection for Franklin's administration to the African-Americanpopulation during the segregation era. During Franklin's terms as President, despite Franklin's needto placate southern sentiment, Eleanor was vocal in her support of the African-American civilrights movement. She was outspoken in her support of Marian Anderson in 1939 when the blacksinger was denied the use of Washington's Constitution Hall and was instrumental in thesubsequent concert held on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. The first lady also played a role inracial affairs when she appointed Mary McLeod Bethune as head of the Division of Negro Affairs.

One social highlight of the Roosevelt years was the 1939 visit of King George VI and QueenElizabeth, the first British monarchs to set foot on U.S. soil. The Roosevelts were criticized in somequarters for serving hot dogs to the royal couple during a picnic at Hyde Park.

Death

Roosevelt was injured in April 1960 when she was struck by a car in New York City. Afterwards, herhealth began a rapid decline. Subsequently diagnosed with a plastic anemia, she developed bonemarrow tuberculosis. Roosevelt died at her Manhattan home on November 7, 1962 at 6:15 p.m.,at the age of 78.President Kennedy ordered the lowering of flags to half-staff in her memory. UNAmbassador Adlai Stevenson said, "The United States, the United Nations, the world, has lost oneof its great citizens. Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt is dead, and a cherished friend of all mankind is gone."

Her funeral at Hyde Park was attended by President John F. Kennedy and former PresidentsTruman and Eisenhower. At her memorial service, Adlai Stevenson asked, "What other singlehuman being has touched and transformed the existence of so many?" Stevenson also said thatRoosevelt was someone "who would rather light a candle than curse the darkness." She was laid torest next to Franklin at the family compound in Hyde Park, New York on November 10, 1962.

Roosevelt, who considered herself plain and craved affection as a child, had in the end transcendedwhatever shortcomings she felt were hers to bring comfort and hope to many, becoming one ofthe most admired figures of the 20th century.